https://wiki.preterhuman.net/index.php?title=Diary_of_an_AOL_User&feed=atom&action=historyDiary of an AOL User - Revision history2024-03-28T22:41:23ZRevision history for this page on the wikiMediaWiki 1.35.0https://wiki.preterhuman.net/index.php?title=Diary_of_an_AOL_User&diff=13866&oldid=prevNetfreak: Created page with "<pre> Monday, May 5, 1997 10:39:30 PM Item From: Tommy Li Subject: AOL Joke To: Humour Diary of an AOL User. July 18 - I jus..."2020-07-11T05:19:51Z<p>Created page with "<pre> Monday, May 5, 1997 10:39:30 PM Item From: Tommy Li Subject: AOL Joke To: Humour Diary of an AOL User. July 18 - I jus..."</p>
<p><b>New page</b></p><div><pre><br />
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Monday, May 5, 1997 10:39:30 PM<br />
Item<br />
From: Tommy Li<br />
Subject: AOL Joke<br />
To: Humour<br />
Diary of an AOL User.<br />
<br />
July 18 - I just tried to connect to America Online. I've heard it is<br />
the best online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I'd<br />
better hold onto it incase they don't ever send me anther one! I<br />
can't connect. I don't know what is wrong.<br />
<br />
July 19 - Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a<br />
modem. I don't see why. He's just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he<br />
think I am?<br />
<br />
July 22 - I bought the modem. I couldn't figure out where it goes. It<br />
wouldn't fit in the monitor or the printer. I'm confused.<br />
<br />
July 23 - I finally got the modem in and hooked up. that nine year old<br />
next door did it for me. But it still don't work. I cant get online.<br />
<br />
July 25 - That nine year old kid next door hooked me up to America<br />
Online for me. He's so smart. I told the kid he was a prodigy. But he<br />
says that's just another service. What a modest kid. He's so smart and<br />
he does these services for people. Anyway he's smarter then the jerks<br />
who sold me the modem. They didn't even tell me about communications<br />
software. Bet they didn't know. And why do they put two telephone jack<br />
holes in the back of a modem when you only need one? And why do they<br />
have one labeled phone when you are not suppose to hook it to the phone<br />
jack on the wall? I thought the dial tone sounded funny! Boy, are modem<br />
makers dumb! But the kid figured it out by the sound.<br />
<br />
July 26 - What's the internet? I thought I was on America Online. Not<br />
this internet thing. I'm confused.<br />
<br />
July 27 - The nine year old kid next door showed me how to use this<br />
America Online stuff. I told him he must be a genius. He says that he is<br />
compared to me. Maybe he's not so modest after all.<br />
<br />
July 28 - I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer<br />
but nothing happened. maybe I need to buy a microphone.<br />
<br />
July 29 - I found this thing called usenet. I got out of it because I'm<br />
connected to America Online not usenet.<br />
<br />
July 30 - These people in this usenet thing keep using capital letters.<br />
How do they do that? I never figured out how to type capital letters.<br />
Maybe they have a different type of keyboard.<br />
<br />
JULY 31 - I CALLED THE COMPUTER MAKER I BOUGHT IT FROM TO COMPLAIN<br />
ABOUT NOT HAVING A CAPITOL LETTER KEY. THE TECH SUPPORT GUY SAID IT WAS<br />
THIS CAPS LOCK KEY. WHY DIDN'T THEY SPELL IT OUT? I TOLD HIM I GOT A<br />
CHEAP KEYBOARD AND WANTED A BETTER ONE. AND ONE OF MY SHIFT KEYS ISNT<br />
THE SAME SIZE AS THE OTHER. HE SAID THATS A STANDARD. I TOLD HIM I<br />
DIDN'T WANT A STANDARD KEYBOARD BUT ANOTHER BRAND. I MUST HAVE HAD AN<br />
IMPORTANT COMPLAINT BECAUSE I HEARD HIM TELL THE OTHER SUPPORT GUYS<br />
TO LISTEN IN ON OUR CONVERSATION.<br />
<br />
AUGUST 1 - I FOUND THIS THING CALLED THE USENET ORACLE. IT SAYS THAT IT<br />
CAN ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS I ASK IT. I SENT IT 44 SEPARATE QUESTIONS ABOUT<br />
THE INTERNET. I HOPE IT RESPONDS SOON.<br />
<br />
AUGUST 2 - I FOUND A GROUP CALLED REC.HUMOR. I DECIDED TO POST THIS JOKE<br />
ABOUT THE CHICKEN THAT CROSSED THE ROAD. TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! HA!<br />
HA! I WASNT SURE I POSTED IT RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 56 MORE TIMES.<br />
<br />
AUGUST 3 - I KEEP HEARING ABOUT THE WORLD WIDE WEB. I DON'T NOW SPIDERS<br />
GREW THAT LARGE.<br />
<br />
AUGUST 4 - THE ORACLE RESPONDED TO MY QUESTIONS TODAY. GEEZ IT WAS RUDE.<br />
I WAS SO ANGRY THAT I POSTED AN ANGRY MESSAGE ABOUT IT TO<br />
REC.HUMOR.ORACLE. I WASNT SURE IF I POSTED RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 22 MORE<br />
TIMES.<br />
<br />
AUGUST 5 - SOMEONE TOLD ME TO READ THE FAQ. GEEZ THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO USE<br />
PROFANITY.<br />
<br />
AUGUST 6 - SOMEONE ELSE TOLD ME TO STOP SHOUTING IN ALL MY MESSAGES.<br />
WHAT A STUPID JERK. IM NOT SHOUTING! IM NOT EVEN TALKING! JUST TYPING!<br />
HOW CAN THEY LET THESE RUDE JERKS GO ON THE INTERNET?<br />
<br />
August 7 - Why have a Caps Lock key if you're not suppose to use it? Its<br />
probably an extra feature that costs more money.<br />
<br />
August 8 - I just read this post called make money fast. I'm so exited.<br />
I'm going to make lots of money. I followed his instructions and posted<br />
it to every newsgroup I could find.<br />
<br />
August 9 - I just made my signature file. Its only 6 pages long. I will<br />
have to work on it some more.<br />
<br />
August 10 - I just looked at a group called alt.aol.sucks. I read a few<br />
posts and I really believe that aol should be wiped off the face of the<br />
earth. I wonder what an aol is.<br />
<br />
August 11 - I was asking where to find some information about something.<br />
Some guy told me to check out ftp.netcom.com. I've looked and looked<br />
but I can't find that group.<br />
<br />
August 12 - I sent a post to every usenet group on the Internet asking<br />
where the ftp.netcom.com is. hopefully someone will help. I cant ask the<br />
kid next door. His parents said that when he comes back from my house<br />
he's laughing so hard he can't eat or sleep or do his homework. So they<br />
wont let him come over anymore. I do have a great sense of humor. I<br />
don't know why the rec.humor group didn't like my chicken joke. Maybe<br />
they only like dirty stuff. Some people sent me posts about my 56 posts<br />
of the joke and they used bad words.<br />
<br />
August 13 - I sent another post to every usenet group on the Internet<br />
asking where the ftp.netcom.com is. I had forgot yesterday to include my<br />
new signature file which is only 8 pages long. I know everyone will want<br />
to read my favorite poem so I included it. I'm also going to add that<br />
short story I like.<br />
<br />
August 14 - Some guy suspended my account because of what I was doing. I<br />
told him I don't have an account at his bank. He's so dumb.<br />
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[[Category:Internet]]</div>Netfreak